Talking to Myself

Image by Team GHB

Misa

Since I got home, Iโ€™ve been a lazy person.

Hours have passed since I finished my placement test and Iโ€™ve refreshed the portal a million times on my phone. With every passing minute not knowing my grade, I die a little inside.

I tried exercise, a hot bubble bath, and honey chamomile tea. Nothing will make the doom feeling go away. Instructor Inga said grades would post this evening, but itโ€™s taking a while and all I can think about is something bad happening, like my test getting lost or outright failing.

I remember Emilian and how fast he finished his test. Must be great being smart. And mean. He probably gets whatever he wants because heโ€™s mean. The hot ones are always mean. Emilian looks kind and modest with his parted hair, glasses and those crisp light blue shirts with the sleeves rolled up…

Until he speaks to me, and I wish I didnโ€™t exist.

I can still feel my fingers getting crushed when he pushed the chair in while I was holding it. That was the first day we met. What would kissing him be like? Weโ€™d probably have to schedule it on the calendar: 15th of the month: peck at noon.

I bet he’ll get the best placement test score.

At least he was nice todayโ€ฆ He wished me good luck when he left. He was smiling tooโ€”I think.

Waitโ€ฆ Does he like me?

No, stop. Just because someone is nice doesnโ€™t mean they like me like that. If he was being nice. It couldโ€™ve been sarcasm when he said good luck. Thatโ€™s exactly what a hot mean guy would do. Word spells and all to draw you further in their web and strangle your heart when you least expect it.

Whatever.

I still canโ€™t believe we spoke. I was so nervous about the test I didnโ€™t feel nervous around him. And I was being myself.

Now I bet he thinks Iโ€™m a witch after offering him my stones. Why did I do that? Stupid.

It seemed like he was listening thoughโ€ฆ I saw how big his eyes got when I asked if he enjoyed taking tests. He seemed pumped. Maybe thatโ€™s what works for handling hot mean guys. Shower them with kindness and attention to cure their dry hearts.

Mm. Emilian in the showerโ€ฆ

I shake the thought out of my head and refresh my screen. No grades yet. Come on, Inga!

I know I passed. I know I passed. Iโ€™ve repeated it all day long to sway my anxious energy into manifesting a three hundred score. Why arenโ€™t my worries gone?

Ugh!

I spin around the room like Iโ€™m a little girl again. Honestly, Iโ€™m losing my mind.

I let myself fall against the wall. Itโ€™s cold against my body. I forgot Iโ€™m only wearing shorts and still a little wet from my bath. Who cares? The wall doesnโ€™t. I can do an amazing split and pretend this wall is a man. Itโ€™s been so longโ€ฆ

โ€œIโ€™m losing it.โ€

I quiet down when I hear voices next door. Two voices, it sounds like. I didnโ€™t know anyone lived next door to me. Management said this complex was quiet since most students choose to live on campus.

I crack my front door open to hear better. Itโ€™s two voices, a man and woman, but I hear the man more. He sounds like heโ€™sโ€ฆ Theyโ€™re havingโ€ฆ

Wow!

Whoa.

Those moans sound hot. Must be a lucky woman. Why canโ€™t I meet a nice hot guy to make me sound like that? Where are they?

Taken or dead, I guess.

My phone rings from my bedroom. โ€œYes! Grades!โ€ I grab it fast.

Oh no. Oh no. Oh no. I take a few deep breaths and refresh my portal and peekโ€ฆ Three fifty! Three fifty? What? Noโ€ฆ That canโ€™t be. Thatโ€™s like crazy genius level. Iโ€™m not that smart.

โ€œNoโ€ฆ No, maybe I am that smart. Whatever. Screw it, I did it! Three hundred fifty! It says it right there! Yes! I passed!โ€

Now I donโ€™t have to pay my school fees and Iโ€™m in honors.

I feel so free now. Free from all that worryโ€ฆ They were chains around my neck choking me.

โ€œI did it! I did it!โ€

I run outside, jumping, and screaming.

โ€œI DID IT!โ€

โ€œShut up.โ€

I hear a deep voice growl behind me. I turn to a man standing in his doorway across from me.

do have a neighborโ€“

โ€œEmilian!?โ€

Heโ€™s in basketball shorts and nothing else. His dark hair is wavy than normal and hangs down a little in front of his face. He doesnโ€™t have his glasses on and looks pissedโ€ฆ

He squints. โ€œMisa?โ€

I donโ€™t have a shirt on!

I dash inside, slam the door and lock it. How did I forget to put on a shirt? My hearts racingโ€ฆ Fuck. Emilian saw me. Wait no. Maybe he didnโ€™t. He didnโ€™t have his glasses on. Maybe he has terrible eyesight when his glasses are off. Yeah, thatโ€™s it. He saw nothing. Nope. Emilian did not see my breasts.

My goshโ€ฆ

Life has been a roller coaster since Iโ€™ve moved to Black Mountain. First Timothy asking me on a date, then making me pay for it. The stress of this test, now my classmate who hates me lives next door and saw me naked.

I go to the fridge and take out the housewarming gift from apartment management. Red wine. The label looks fancy and hip. Fifteen percent alcohol. Itโ€™ll make me forget this minor incident.

I grab a glass, my wine opener and pop it open.

โ€œCheers Misa, to embarrassment and good fortune.โ€ I whisper to myself.

All I can do is smile.



15 responses to “Talking to Myself”

  1. Knukkls Avatar
    Knukkls

    Lol this story should never end!

    1. Kirsten Avatar

      Thanks! Lucky for you I never want any of my stories to end. ๐Ÿคช

  2. Mike U. Avatar

    I have to admit Misa seems like a cool girl despite (or perhaps because of) her weirdness. If it’s true that opposites attract, this will be a very interesting pair because you really can’t get more opposite than these two. ๐Ÿ˜€ Nice work as always, Kirsten. ๐Ÿ™‚

    1. Kirsten Avatar

      Thank you! I agree! I think that’s what makes her so interesting because she’s so weird. Plus she doesn’t seem to care for shirts so she’s definitely cool. Haha ๐Ÿ˜

  3. [โ€ฆ] Previous โ€“ Talking to Myself [โ€ฆ]

  4. DEVANG UPADHYAYA Avatar

    Misa is horny!
    I can tell that!!
    Good thing she passed it.
    .
    I shouldn’t have read this story at the night. This reminds me how lonely I am like misa ๐Ÿ˜….
    Great share Kirsten ๐Ÿ‘๐Ÿป

    1. Kirsten Avatar

      ๐Ÿคฃ Uh-oh! Don’t read the latest story then! Haha!

      1. DEVANG UPADHYAYA Avatar

        Sorry to say but I haven’t!!
        It will break the continuation.
        I’m reading and enjoying it slowly.

      2. Kirsten Avatar

        My bad! My scatterbrain forgot you started from the beginning! Haha no worries take your time. ๐Ÿ™‚

      3. DEVANG UPADHYAYA Avatar

        Your brain is beautiful ๐Ÿ™‚
        Getting there.
        But everytime there’s a new blog from your side ๐Ÿ˜…

  5. byngnigel Avatar

    Ooh.. Iโ€™ve had those embarrassing moments too. Lol. Misa be having cravings which sets up a saucy episode or two down the line. Loved this episode, Kirsten. ๐Ÿ˜œ

    1. Kirsten Curcio Avatar

      Ah, you’re not alone… It’s good when you can look back and laugh about those embarrassing moments later. ๐Ÿ˜„ “cravings” indeed! Thank you for checking this out, Nigel.

      1. byngnigel Avatar

        You’re welcome Kirsten. Now I’m tempted to write about it. But the lady in question may not appreciate it ๐Ÿ˜‚

      2. Kirsten Curcio Avatar

        ๐Ÿ˜ uh-oh! I’m curious now. You could make it into a story.

  6. byngnigel Avatar

    Yes . Most likely I would. ๐Ÿ˜‚

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